Magic Menagerie
by Artemis-Athene
Summary: A little OS that popped into my head. Swan Mills Family fun. Established SQ. Set in no particular time.


**Hey guys! I have no idea where this idea came from but it wouldn't leave me alone so here you go! I'm sorry for any mistakes you might find. xoxo**

The last villain threatening to destroy Storybrooke was dealt with about half a year ago, making it finally possible for Emma to move in with her girlfriend and her son.

And the blonde couldn't have been happier. She finally had a family who loved her deeply and a place to call home.

Lately Henry begged his mothers constantly for one thing: a pet. Nearly all his classmates and friends had some kind of animal to call their own. So after a long debate Emma and Regina had agreed that their son would get one for his next birthday.

But looking for a perfect pet for the Savior and the (former) Evil Queen's son wasn't exactly easy….

It was a usual morning in the Swan-Mills Household. Regina was standing in the kitchen, perfectly dressed with impeccable make up, finishing Henry's lunch. Emma was frantically searching for her keys when Henry stomped down the stairs.

"Hey kid, have you seen my keys anywhere?"

"Have you seen a calendar lately?" He sassed back, the spiting image of his brunette mother, arched eyebrow and all.

"Huh, why?"

"Because my birthday is in a week and I am still pet – less."

"Dear, pet-less isn't even a word. Stop spending so much time with your other mother." Regina said, handing the boy his lunchbox.

"Haha, very funny, Regina." Emma huffed, variously opening and closing cupboards in her search.

"What about a lizard?" Henry asked, leaning against a counter.

"No. Not a chance." Regina said.

"Why? What's wrong with a lizard?"

"It is basically a dragon but without the cool special effects like flying and breathing fire. So: lame." Emma concluded.

"What about a cat?"

"You are asking a witch to adopt a cat? Really?" Regina replied, eyebrows arched to her hairline.

"Okay, no cat. Kid, think harder. Where are my effing keys?"

"I am. Why can't it be a dog again?"

"Because I spend my days as Sherriff chasing Pongo through the whole damn town and I don't need another one to run after."

"Language, Emma! How about fishes?" Regina asked. "They are perfect. They don't make noise, they are clean, they don't require much work."

"They are lame as hell." Henry whined.

"Language, Henry." Regina chastised. "Seriously, what is wrong with you people?"

"How about birds?" Emma's voice came from the next room, still in search for her keys.

"You have to _ask_? Daughter of _Snow White_?"

"Uhhh, right. Bad idea."

"We need to continue this tonight, otherwise we will all be late" Regina concluded.

"I'm never gonna get a pet" Henry sighed, before shuffling to the door.

"Great. Now he's pissed. And I can't find my fucking keys." Emma growled

"Henry will come around. As for your keys…Have you checked your jacket pockets?"

Emma huffed, her hands gliding in her red leather jacket. "Of course I have checked them or I wouldn't be looking for my-" she stopped when her fingers brushed over metal.

"Keys."

Regina simply chuckled, giving Emma a quick peck on the lips, before both of them rushed out the door as well.

"Well, that was a surprising uneventful day." Emma sighed pleased, while Regina inserted her keys in the door lock. After hours of sitting around at the station filling out a ridiculous amount of paperwork the Sherriff was ready for a lazy evening on the couch with her two favorite people. She was about to suggest just that to her girlfriend when they heard a screeching from inside the house.

They looked at each other. "Henry."

Regina pushed the door open and Emma and her ran inside, but didn't get very far before a flock of tiny blue, very insect like looking creatures flew in their face. Regina had the presence of mind of shutting the door behind her with a thud, before they could escape.

"What the hell – Kid!" Emma screamed while attempting to get rid of the little creatures.

Regina was making her way into the foyer now, grabbing Emma by the hand and dragging her with her, effectively leaving the swarm behind. They both stopped and just stared at the chaos unfolding in front of their eyes.  
"What. the. hell" Emma muttered. It looked like a whole zoo of magical creatures had appeared in their home. Their were strangely colored snakes with numerous heads crawling on the floor, something that looked awfully like a griffin clung to the handle of the staircase above them and about a dozen different animal hybrids ran around chasing each other.

A unicorn stood in the entrance to the living room, grazing on Regina's potted flowers.

Vases lay broken on the ground as well as a few picture frames and about a ton of feathers and fur of different colors. Finally Henry poked his head out from the parlor, a brown monkey with a little purple hat and vest sat on his head.

"Um, hi moms."

"Henry Daniel Mills, what on earth happened here?!" Regina shouted over all the commotion.

"It was an accident I swear. I just wanted a pet and I knew you guys would never agree on one so I took one of your magic books and tried a spell. I thought if I would just get one you guys would let me keep it. But something must have went wrong because the book began glowing and then all of these _things_ just came jumping out of all the books. I'm sorry."

Regina sighed and began massaging her temples. She could already feel the migraine coming. Emma came to stand next to her girlfriend, swatting away some kind of Satyr that wanted to eat her jacket.

"What do you mean, _all the books?_ "

Henry awkwardly shuffled on his feet.

"Umm, well, all of the books. They even came out of my comic books and I think the TV, too."

With as much calm as she could muster Regina asked:

"Which spell was it, Henry?"

Her son gave her a torn paper he had held in his hands.  
"The page just slipped out when I opened the book." He explained.

Emma scrunched her nose at the sight of the seemingly cryptic letters on the page.  
"How could you even read that?"

The teen shrugged. "I couldn't. I held it in my hands as I thought about the pet."

Now it was Emma's turn to sigh. Fucking fairytales. Fucking magic. She looked at Regina, who was still inspecting the page.

"Can you undo it?"

"I believe so. But I need to perform the spell on each creature individually."

Emma groaned. "So we have to find every damn animal in the house?"

"I am afraid so. And we are going to start with this little pest." Regina answered and the Satyr next to Emma vanished into thin air with a satisfying 'pop'.

"One down, about a hundred to go."

It took them hours to find all the different creatures in the mansion. At least Emma hoped so as she crawled out from beneath their bed, holding three squirming chipmunks in her hands.

"Hurry up Regina, if they start singing I swear to god I'll lose my shit."

Three seconds later the rodents were gone as well.

"Come on lets see how far Henry got with the other two." Regina said, helping her girlfriend up. The blonde had scratches and bites from various animals on her arms as well as her face and her shirt had been ruined by a particularly aggressive Cheshire cat.

When they got down into the chaos that had once been the foyer both women saw that Henry hadn't in fact caught the last two remaining creatures. _Meep, meep_! The tell tale sound of none other than the Roadrunner sounded and a second later said bird bolted from the kitchen to the living room, the coyote hot on it's tail almost running over the two women. Henry came running after them, gasping for air.

"Moms, don't let him get to him!" Regina sighed heavily before conjuring a bowl of bird seed she put in the middle of the room. Soon enough the blue bird came dashing in again, skidding to a halt to devour it's food.

Regina poofed him back to the comic he came out of, closely followed by it's adversary the poor and always unlucky Wile Coyote.

"Great." Emma sighed and let herself down on the stairs.

"I am too tired to even think of a punishment for the kid."

Her girlfriend didn't seem to have that problem though.

"Henry, you are grounded until you rid every room of this house from all this mess."

"But that's is going to take ages. Can't you use magic?" the boy whined, not at all happy about his situation.

"The fact that I _can_ use magic doesn't mean I _should."_

A loud rattle from the kitchen made them all jump up. Henry was the first to set foot in the destroyed cooking area and a grin spread across his face when he saw what had caused the commotion. "Abu!"

"Who now?" His brunette mother asked as she and Emma stepped into the room.

"Oh god, he's from 'Aladdin'. Don't you ever watch TV, Regina?"

"It doesn't matter who he is, he's going back to where he came from."

"Mom, no! Please, can't I keep him? Technically you still both owe me a pet."

"And you want a monkey?!" Regina all but screamed.

"C'mon, Gina. It's not like he's a dragon." Emma nudged her side.

"Please, Mom. Give him a chance" Their son pleaded.

As if on cue Abu hopped down from the counter he was sitting on and climbed up Regina's legs and torso until he finally hung at her neck. He looked at her with the biggest and saddest eyes Regina had ever seen on an animal. She sighed. She was going to regret this, she knew.

"One test week. If he doesn't behave, he goes back."

"Yes!" Henry rejoiced.

And Abu hugged her tight before joining Henry in his victory dance.

"I already hate him." She stated very unconvincingly.

Emma laid and arm around her shoulder and gave her a kiss on the temple, before smirking.

"Don't worry, you big Softy. You'll get along just fine. I heard he likes apples."


End file.
